Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
