Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
