Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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