It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
