apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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