That's intense
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
