I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im holly from the hills drunk
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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