Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
