My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
