We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have post one night stand depression
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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