so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
