i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
