Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish i was in the wii world.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Bring me that man meat
So vagazzling was a success
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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