I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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