he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We need to rekindle our bromance
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
