I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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