Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
