go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
