So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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