I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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