you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
