you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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