We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Buhtt sex?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize