yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
