I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
