Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
