He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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