Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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