Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
