I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
