So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
