We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
