Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just forgot I was standing up.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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