Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
