you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
