just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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