i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sext me about skeletons
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
