I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
