Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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