he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
