somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Houston, we have a squirter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
