Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
