ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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