So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
