I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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