Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
