My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
