whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
