i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
