i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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