No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
