you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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