ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
