she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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