apparently the secret to your success is patron
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
