I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
