He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
