were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
