Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
