why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
